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Posts archive for: 30 May, 2007
  • Photography Tips Pt1

    How to Photograph a Puppy

    1. Remove film from box and load camera.
    2. Remove film box from puppy's month and throw in rubbish bin.
    3. Remove puppy from rubbish bin and brush tea leaves from muzzle.
    4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
    5. Mount camera on tripod, check flash and focus.
    6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
    7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
    8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
    9. Focus with one hand while fending off puppy with other hand.
    10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
    11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
    12. Put magazines back on coffee table.
    13. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
    14. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
    15. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say- "No, no outside!"
    16. Call spouse to help clean up the mess.
    17. Fix a drink.
    18. Sit back in chair, put your feet up, sip your drink and resolve to teach Megan to "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.

  • Good News Day

    Great result today. I had an appointment with Mr Big Cheese, at Bedford hospitals cardiac unit. He has given me the all clear to carry on as normal. I can't guarantee the normal bit but I will try, I promise.:crazy:

  • On This Day

    According to tradition, King Arthur of England died.

    Mort d’Arthur

    According to legend, Arthur was the son of King Uther Pendragon and Igerna, wife of Corlois, Duke of Cornwall, who Uther had cuckolded. They later married when Corlois died in battle. It is unlikely Arthur really existed, and he is not found in chronicles before Norman times, five centuries after his supposed death.

    On the death of Uther, Arthur became king. He went to war against the Anglo-Saxons, whom he defeated with great slaughter in a place called Mount Badon. He then went on to defeat the Scots and Picts, then conquered Ireland, Iceland, Gothland and the Orcades, followed by Denmark, Norway and Gaul. He supposedly defeated the Gallic governor Flollo at Paris, after nine years of trying to subdue the Gauls.

    He returned to his native land, gathered all the princes together and was crowned again, after which representatives from Rome bore a letter from Lucius Tiberius, the procurator of Rome, demanding that he relinquish all the lands that he had taken from Rome, and also that he pay the tribute that Britain had formerly paid to the Imperial power.

    King Arthur entrusted his kingdom to his nephew Modred and his queen Guanhumara (Guinevere), and crossed the Channel to France, disembarking at Mont St Michael, where he slew a Spanish giant, who had carried away Helena, the niece of Hoel of Brittany. Arthur engaged Tiberius in France, and defeated him. He was marching with his troops to Rome, passing the Alps, when he got disastrous news from Britain – Modred had conspired with and married the queen, taking the crown. Arthur left half his forces in France under command of Hoel of Brittany, and landed the other half at Rutupiae, or Richborough, Guanhumara fleeing to a nunnery in penitence, where she spent the remainder of her days.

    Modred was killed by Arthur's men. After three battles with him, Arthur finally killed him in battle, but was mortally wounded himself. They carried Arthur to the Isle of Avalon (Glastonbury, home today of the Glastonbury Festival) but were unable to heal him. This tale of the legendary King Arthur comes from Geoffrey of Monmouth and was written in 1147.

    “Medieval authors disagree about the precise fate of King Arthur following his final, man-to-man battle with Mordred. Geoffrey of Monmouth writes that, in 542, King Arthur ‘was mortally wounded and was carried off to the Isle of Avalon, so that his wounds might be attended to.’ No mention is made of a burial; later in the twelfth century, Wace diverges from his source, Geoffrey, writing that the last battle occurred in 642, and moreover that ‘Arthur is yet in Avalon, awaited of the Britons; for they say and deem he will return from whence he went and live again.’” Source

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