Funky and Friends

A startling new exhibition in America has confirmed what religion people and the authors of the bible have said all along; the Earth and all it's animals were made in six days by God.

A leading architect told us that he was shocked that such a major project could be undertaken so very quickly and by one entity only.

"We think he may have subcontracted out some of the heavy work to archangels who was pretty clever with trees and plants and maybe even gave Satan a go at a few simpler things like grass and bacteria."

A leading biologist said that God was very clever.

"Did he create the skin and fill it or create the insides first and then carefully wrap the contents in skin. We just don't know."

Apart from all the major life stuff one question still remains. How many dinosaurs did Noah manage to get on to the Ark?

We think he must have done it in two trips. First, he must have taken all the small lizard-like dinosaurs and dropped them off somewhere really high up and then gone back for your Diplodocus and your Triceratops.

The Archbishop of Canterbury is said to be over the moon at the news.

Hi
Another wet and miserable day today..

The person who said that every cloud has a silver lining was about right. I have been using the time to build the 'Chuck Waggon' It's nearly finished now thanks to the help I got from Fred ( There you are Fred you got your mention) Fred is great at screwing. I'm afraid that screwing in the past has left my eyesight not what it was so any help in that department is always appreciated.

Lin sent me a joke earlier which I thought funny and appropriate considering the efforts and ideas we are putting into our current project, I think we ought to take a trip to the patents office as well.
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"
"A fottle, replies the inventor."
"A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?"

"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.

"A farton", replies the inventor.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"

"In that case," says the inventor...
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

Blame Lin for that one not me. Her number is 01756-678592

Before I go here is a bit of culture for you by way of a poem:

LITTLE JIMMY TATTERSALL

Little Jimmy Tattersall
A small time, petty criminal
Began his life of crime before,
He'd reached the tender age of four.

In nursery school he'd nick the toys
Of all the other girls and boys.
He'd also take their cakes and sweets
And any other dainty treats.

And on the bus he'd steal the fares
Of all the children sitting there.
He also made a tidy packet
Running a protection racket.

Until the school staff felt compelled
To get the little thug expelled.
Who, now left to his own devices
Indulged himself in other vices.

His parents warned him of their fears
And told him "It'll end in tears.
It's time you changed your ways!" said Ma,
"One day, young Jim... you'll go too far!"

And sure enough one fateful day,
Disaster came the young lad's way.
When only twelve years old, he went
And stole a dumper full of cement.

Of course, at just twelve years of age,
He'd never read a single page
Of how to drive upon the road
As stated in the 'Highway Code'

So down the highway Jimmy sped
Oblivious to what lay ahead,
Speeding recklessly he went.
With twenty ton of wet cement

Alas poor Jim, he met his end
Negotiating a bend
But didn't feel a thing at all
When finally he struck that wall.

'Cos like an arrow from a bow
Jim left the dumper truck below.
And as he flew, it crossed his mind...
'That concrete must be close behind!'

Next morning policemen found the heap
Of solid, rockhard, grey concrete
And from the very top there peeped
A pair of size six, plimsoled feet.

So children, don't be like this kid
And try to do the things he did.
'Cos Little Jimmy Tattersall...
Is now a hardened criminal.

OK I gotta rush