Funky and Friends

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

An email received today
.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
• Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
• Why the early bird gets the worm;
• Life isn't always fair;
• and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a plaster to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

I found some photos from Feb 06 and have decided to return to the Weald and Downland Open Air Museum for a longer look, in the very near future. It is a fascinating place to visit. I hope you enjoy the pictures

Take the virtual tour
http://www.wealddown.co.uk/weald.htm

A man had a terrible accident. His manhood was mangled and torn from his body. The doctor reassured him that modern medicine made it possible for
his manhood to be rebuilt, but the NHS couldn't cover the expense. It
was considered cosmetic. He had three choices - small for £3,500; medium
for £6,500 and large for £14,000.
The man was sure he'd want a medium or large. The doctor suggested that
he discuss it with his wife privately before a final decision was made.
The doctor left the room and while he was gone the man called his wife
and told her their options.
The doctor returned and found the man looking very sad. "Did you make a
decision?" the doctor asked.
... "Yes," said the man. "She'd rather remodel the kitchen!"

“The Chinese government is against any form of animal cruelty and mistreatment, fully appreciates common feeling of caring for animals shared by mankind, and is endeavoring to strengthen animal protection in China. While improvements have been made already and are continuing to be made in this area, we sincerely hope, through dialogue rather than confrontation, to strengthen mutual understanding with friends and well-intentioned NGOs in the course of eliminating animal cruelty and mistreatment”. Says the Embassy of the People's Republic of China in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland That is a quote from 2003

What an outright despicable lie. I for one will be boycotting Chinese goods from now on.

Have these people no humanity at all?

Here is an article from 2007

http://news.sky.com/skynews/video/videoplayer/0,,31200-1266788,.html
Don’t watch this if you are easily upset.

I have just sent this email.

Dear Sir
I am appalled by the cruelty towards animals shown on Sky News this morning.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/video/videoplayer/0,,31200-1266788,.html

I will not be buying anything manufactured in your country until this outrageous behaviour is stopped. Scenes like this are completely unacceptable in this day and age.

Yours sincerely

Peter Whyte

The popular UK Blog site, which coincidentally is called, Blog.uk. although it is German, was unavailable for much of the morning today following a severe technical fault. According to the webmaster, Douglas von Ramsbottom, a power outage caused a hard drive failure, taking the web site offline. "We apologise sincerely for any inconvenience caused and we assure our visitors that steps have been put in place to stop this from happening again," Herr Ramsbottom lied said. "Deuchland Deuchland uber alles, donner und blitzen! The person responsible for putting coins in the meter has been disciplined. Ya vole mein hairy armpit".

Grab a bargain Ramsbottom NOW
WWW.EBAY.COM

Good Morning.

BLUK have 'strutted' their stuff, as announced and we are back online.
As to whether it makes a blind bit of difference remains to be seen. Going on past experience, somehow I doubt it!

I read somewhere that crabs have two anuses, or should that be anusi? I'm confused now?

Ms Funky has somehow got me to agree to install oil fired central heating.I'm not looking forward to the task either, doesn't the woman realise the walls of this house are 18" thick? Anyway how can I do that when I have a blog to write?

I'm off to cheer up

Byeeeeee