Funky and Friends

Uranus is in decline this day you must remember to see the Quack today. Piles have been known to kill you know!

Homeopathic treatments are not generally carried out by psychopathic people.I'm not entirely sure you know that the 'pathic' part of those two words doesn't mean that they're related.

Waiting for a lift to come is like going down the stairs, only less calories. See? Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defence but worry not for even a reverse side has a reverse side. Let "be the hammer not the nail" be your matra today.

I despair!!!!!

LONDON (Reuters) - A woman who killed her boyfriend's cat by putting it in a washing machine after an argument was given a four-month suspended prison sentence on Monday.

Diane Hannon, from Old Colwyn, in north Wales, was looking after the white fluffy cat called Paws last summer while her friend Duncan Carthy was away.

She put the six-year-old cat, which was deaf, into the washing machine before switching it on. Paws died from a heart attack and suffered loss of hair and scalding.

RSPCA Inspector Kevin Paton, said in a statement: "This is the worst act of deliberate cruelty I have ever seen."

Hannon, who suffered from depression, told Llandudno Magistrates' Court that she and Carthy had argued before he went away, causing her to feel wounded and angry. ( I don't expect the poor animal felt all tha 'chipper' either )

Hannon, who admitted last December to causing unnecessary suffering to the animal, was banned from owning animals for life.( She should have got life)

I had no idea, at the crack of 7:15 am, that my day would be so exciting. This afternoon Ms Funky and I headed for the garden centre. The mission was to get a bit of fencing to thwart Baxter's romantic excursions. What did we end up with? A bag of first early spuds, Stutgard Giant onion sets, shallots for pickling, broadbeans and extra strong garlic. all apart from the spuds which need to be chitted for a flying start, have to go in like yesterday wouldn't be too soon. Hmmmmmm, don't you just love it when someone has a plan? I happen to agree wholeheartedly with the sage who said "The best way to garden is to put on a wide brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."

Two elderly ladies at a flower and vegetable show, one leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For £5.00 I'd take my clothes off right now and streak through that stupid flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a £5.00 note.

As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"Why, I won first prize for Best Dried Arrangement."

Well, that's it for my first day back. It wan't too bad I spose!

It was much too cold for me to do any workshop repairs. Farming has yet catch up with other industries re lighting, heating ect.
It's up to the farmer what the do and I have to tell you some do nothing. Anyway thats not the issue today. I have the option of doing a bit of tractor work so I hitched on the hedge trimmer and set out like a latter day Brontosaurus, hacking and chewing my way around the hedgerows of England. Actually I do try to be a bit sensitive and do a good job but some you see are an absolute disgrace and eyesore. I think I wll carry on and finish the hedges while the ground is hard also the birds will be nesting soon and couple of weeks before they start getting frisky really is the cut off point for trimming.

That's enough boring stuff for now, catch ya later.

Tata

Good morning.

I poked my beak out of the nest an hour ago and it's, Brrrrr, as cold as a landlord's heart.

It's back to the toil fer me today, so it just had to be the coldest morning we have had this winter! Never mind, it gives me something to whittle about.

TTFN
FF