I'm going to hand you over to Baxter today.
He want's to tell you a story.
Hi folks. Don't take any notice of Funky. The silly old fool! He never stops bleating. I am the leader of the pack here and the brains of the outfit. I got a story fer ya. Och aye da noo, Jimmy, shiver me timbers ect ect.
In the days of yore, a knight was on his way to do something terribly important, riding his horse into the ground to get to his destination as fast as possible.
After being ridden too hard for too long, his horse became lame, and seeing a small town ahead he headed straight for the stables there.
"I must have a horse!" he cried "The life of the King depends upon it!"
The stablekeeper shook his head. "I have no horses," he said. "They have all been taken in the service of your King."
"You must have something - a pony, a donkey, a mule, anything at all?" the knight asked.
"Nothing..... unless.... no, I couldn't"
The knight's eyes lit up. "Tell me!"
The stablekeeper leads the knight into the stable. Inside is a dog, but no ordinary dog. This dog is a giant, almost as large as the horse the knight was riding. But it is also the filthiest, shaggiest, smelliest, mangiest dog that the knight has ever seen.
Swallowing, the knight said "I'll take it. Where is the saddle?"
The stablekeeper walked over to a saddle near the dog and started gasping for breath, holding the walls to keep himself upright. "I can't do it." he told the knight.
"You must give me the dog!" cried the knight. "Why can't you?"
The stablekeeper said "I just couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."
